


The One Where Bucky Is A Heathen

by sgtbuckaroobarnes



Series: SamBucky Ficlets [32]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Food, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Winter Falcon, sambucky - Freeform, they're still in their being assholes to each other phase, which is great to so its all good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 09:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12430005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgtbuckaroobarnes/pseuds/sgtbuckaroobarnes
Summary: Sam does NOT agree with the way Bucky eats his fries.





	The One Where Bucky Is A Heathen

“What the hell are you doing?!”

Bucky jumps in his chair and looks around to see Sam staring at him from the kitchen door way, an affronted look on his face.

“What?” Bucky asks, unsure.

“What. The hell. Are you doing?” Sam says again, slower this time, like he’s talking to someone who isn’t all there. Bucky blinks at him. Sam moves his eyes to Bucky’s plate dramatically. Bucky follows suit and then looks back up Sam, blinks at him again.

“I- Ea- I’m…eating?” Bucky asks, not sure that’s the right answer at all. He’s so lost. Sam rolls his eyes and stalks into the kitchen, the offended look never leaving his face. He plants himself on the other side of the island and carefully places his hands palms down on the marble top. Bucky feels himself lean back in his chair a little, on edge from the intense look in Sam’s eyes.

“Yeah, no, I know you’re eating that’s not what I meant.” Sam said flatly. He sounded angry. Bucky opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. He looked at his plate and then back up to Sam, again, his brain clearly missing something that was apparently obvious. He opened his mouth again, Sam raised his eyebrows and stared at him, Bucky closed his mouth and dropped his eyes back to the plate. He stared at the fries there and took a slow breath, in through his nose, and then out again. His exhale sounding a little strained. He bit his lip and closed his eyes before looking back to Sam, who was waiting, expectantly.

“I am so lost right now.” Bucky breathed, his hands opening on the counter top, palms up, helpless. Sam rolled his eyes again and groaned.

“That,” he pointed at Bucky’s plate of fries,

“is unnatural. That’s not okay.” He said, staring at Bucky, his voice serious. Bucky stared at Sam for a long moment, he was trying to figure out what was happening and getting nowhere. He wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t having a stroke.

“Am I having a stroke?” he asked, shaking his head a little as Sam looked at him.

“No. You’re just making terrible life choices.” Sam said, shrugging.

“I’m still confused. Can you just tell me what the fuck you’re talking about so I can stop doing mental gymnastics? I’m tired.” Bucky said. Sam closed his eyes and took a deep breath, only opening his eyes once he’d let out all the way.

“You don’t put the ketchup _ON_ the fries like that.” Sam said, once again pointing at Bucky’s plate. Bucky dropped his eyes again and looked at the pile of ketchup covered fries on his plate.

“Why?” he asked, the word drawing out like sap dripping from a tree.

“Cuz it’s not right. That’s just not how it’s done.” He said, matter of fact. Bucky narrowed his eyes.

“Well how the fuck am I supposed to eat them then?” Bucky asked, not sure why Sam had gotten so worked up over ketchup placement and usage.

“You dip the fries in the ketchup. Everyone knows this. Have you been living under a rock or something?” Sam asked, that incredulous look back on his face.

“No. I was being brainwashed by hydra.” Bucky said flatly. Sam pursed his lips and looked unamused.

“You just have to be literal about everything don’t you?” Sam asked.

“Yes.” Bucky said, his voice still flat. Sam rolled his eyes again. Bucky fought the urge to smirk at him. Sam was going to roll his eyes so hard one day that he was gonna pull a muscle. Bucky would pay to see that.

“Okay listen. If you’re gonna eat them that way, the wrong way,” he said pointedly.

“Don’t do it around me. I don’t wanna see it. I don’t need you around, eating like a heathen and ruining my perfectly good day okay?” Sam said, pointing at Bucky’s plate and then waving his hand around.

Bucky stared at him. Sam stared back and narrowed his eyes. Bucky moved his hand slowly toward the ketchup bottle on the counter. Sam’s eyes widened and his jaw set as he gave Bucky a warning look. Bucky picked the bottle up and squeezed more onto his fries. He set the bottle down and reached for his fork.

“Don’t you _fucking_ dare.” Sam said, almost whispered, neither of them had blinked.

Bucky picked up the fork and stabbed it into the pile of fries, still staring at Sam as he raised the fork full to his mouth and shoved the fries in. Sam took a step away from and shook his head.

“What is wrong with you? Why are you like this?” Sam asked, his voice low. Bucky smiled around his mouthful, his cheeks bulging.

“You’re an asshole.” Sam said with finality and walked out of the kitchen as Bucky shoved more fries into his mouth.

~***~

**One Week Later**

Bucky smells them cooking and closes his book. He rolls out of bed and tosses the book onto his pillow before heading to the living room.

“Who’s cooking fries?” he asks, dropping himself on the couch next to Rhodey. Rhodey looks at him, his head resting on the couch.

“Sam, I think.” He says, his eyes going back to whatever it is he’s watching on tv. Bucky nods as his mouth stretches into a smile.

“Why are you doing that? I don’t like that.” Clint says from the floor, he looks like he might be about to run away. Bucky shakes his head and looks toward the kitchen.

“I need a fork.” He says and pushes himself up off the couch and walks toward the kitchen.

“Why? Where you goin?” Clint asks, he’s settled back down now and looks less worried. Bucky turns on his heel, continues toward the kitchen, walking backwards.

“I’m going to ruin Sam’s day.” He says, smiling as he walks into the kitchen.

**Author's Note:**

> its been fucking weeks since i've written and i feel awful about but my friend was giving me jokey one word prompts and one of them actually helped so here's this random thing!!! love you guys! hopefully i'll be writing more soon!!! <3


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